im fucked up
Friday, May 16, 2008, 6:25 PM
FUCK!!!im like 18 well,turning 19 infact,but here i am stuck at home,not being able to go out on a simple outing of bowling,great that the reason why i caant go coz i went home at 11,which i was just under my block only,and whats worse is that ive never done anything wrong other den that..only one reason,wen ive done my job,thats not getting scolding,like im always home by 7,coz my sch ends at 6,wtf,and beside that,what more have i done wrong??spent time with my sis,my siblings??didnt i did that for the last 18 years of my life,stupid little things like this,makes me drift away from my family,and whats with my dad,why is he soo short tempered,all i did was as him nicely whether i can go out or not,for bowling,does he need to yell??do he neeed to just blow his top off over such a little things..and seriously,he really do need anger management..i respect him as my dad,but why must he blow his top ever so often,he just came back bout last week,and the first week,he already blow his top again,juz coz i went down like wat,a min late,wen they told me to come down in 10mins,so i waited,which by the way was like a mere 4 mins..
i just dont get it..whats with this family,y isnt it like last time anymore,ive not lie to them the last huge argument during the march,wen i was at my worse,but y they let me out wen i lie,n not let me out wen im not lying..so its better to lie or the truth...haix..sorry dudes,i broke my promise that i be there,coz i was so confident that i will be out,be able to be there for the bowling session..im so sorry man..im not sure how long is this gonna last..they have their own limit,why not me??haven they wonder what is their action doing to me??dont they know..they always say they doing this so that i wont be wat,rebelious teens like all those so called bad image mat reps,well,im turning into more worse,looks like they rather have a son thats keeping all his anger in,not knowing when he will just explode,holding everything back in,wen all his frens got his freedom at the age of 18,haix..im pathetic,have they really given me the support since im in ite,i dont feel so..all they do are juz the same to me as what my uncles and all those mofos out there,just look down ppl of ite,kids from ite,the name ite..they have nvr been in one,all they know ite = rowdy kids..
yeah my sec frens are fun,but ite frens,they are really behind ur back no matter how deep is the shit,i could have been a really fucked up dude if i want to,a total mat rep,but dont they get it,but im just respecting them n not being one..haix..this is really fucked up..KNN CB..im gonna do something tonight,n i just know it...trust me..im gonna get more worse..coz all the anger is coming out right now..gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
someone pleaase help me..
angels on fire what is a perfect family,what expectation in one family have,why are they so different,n how im born in dis,y is that theres not even a single moment in my life that i can share something,a secret wif my family..haix
